I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
