Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
