so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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