Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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