I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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