I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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