Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
