i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
