dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
