He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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