How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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