question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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