You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
