He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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