ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize