Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
