Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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