If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
