dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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