Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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