Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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