I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
