Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
