I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize