I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
