Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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