definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
