Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
