Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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