Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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