i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
