Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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