North Korea, Best Korea!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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