just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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