Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
