God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
