I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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