You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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