I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
