i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
tell me about the eggs
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
