In the future we'll all be gay
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
