Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
