Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
