i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
