so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
