Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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