The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
