They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
