a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
