Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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