I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
