He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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