we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
