If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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