Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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