We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
