I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
