ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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